"have fun being a bitch and failing pashto. great feeling trying hard for nada huh"

i hate people. fuck.them.all.

i have found myself in a bind. torn between a strong dislike and an overwhelming sense of empathy.. yesterday i was explaining that my lack of sabbotage would be taken care of by karma. however, i didn't expect it to act so swiftly or so harshly. this unsuspected event has thrown me for a loop and while i've deemed her deserving, i can't find the voice to say it out loud.

when he left me, without word nor reason, she felt compelled to say i got what i deserved. and for once in my life, i can honestly say that i didn't do anything to cause it. so after hearing her unnecessary, bitter words, i have found no reason to be nice, just civil. i got word two weeks ago that instead of telling her beolved fiance she took a marine to our ball, she told him she went to the movies with me. Lie. i almost called him to tell him she lied butdecided to be above that.

yesterday, i was ranting about how irritating i find her and told her how immature she is. then told my friend that karma would take care of her better than i could. today, i walk into class, she looked destroyed and no longer had her filthy diamond on her finger. i must admit, i may have sorta-kinda let an itty-bitty, miniscule chuckle dance around in my head. and then my hidden smile melted and i put my head down with the word "jynx" stamped on my forehead. i'm not sure if this is guilt i'm feeling or if it is just my empathy overpowering my apathy. either way, i let a girl, who irritates me to the core, vent to me and smoke my cigarettes. to make myself still seem like the bitch i try to hide, i pointed out her wrong-doings and how the same thing happened to me.

final summation? depressed people don't like it when you steal their spotlight.